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Vampire writers really are not tapping into true potential. Why whine for eternity about their lost humanity or fall in love with a mortal teenager when vampires could like walk to space or some shit

Vampires who finally get all the dead bodies off Mount Everest so they can be buried.

Vampire policemen who can easily walk into danger and rescue others, wearing bullet and stab wounds as badges of honor. Some kid they saved started giving them corks to “plug” the holes, and it’s become a trend, kids decorating plugs to give to their local policemen for the vampire department.

Vampire scientists who can work 24/7 when a new epidemic shows up, or when working in forensics, and then just take a few years off. 

Vampire scientists who can research radiation and just get a laptop with internet and wait the few hundred years until they’re safe to be around again, watching tv shows and reading all the books they want to, because yeah, it gets lonely, but they’ll have centuries after to make up for it.

Or maybe they’d be doing it in groups so they don’t end up lonely. Earning their money for the downtime by making it a realityshow. Who needs Big Brother? We got a pile of vampires who have to live together for decades, that’s gonna be drama! If you donate blood this month, you get to choose a challenge for them! 

Vampires, guys, Vampires.

I am 100000000000% here for this. 

Actually how would aquatic vampire covens account for water pressure? That’s a bigger problem than air when diving.

The bends can’t kill you if you’re already dead.

I need Vampire Big Brother rn. 

Published By:

Author: Penny Wilder

Penny Wilder is a queer human who writes and reads far too many books. She lives near Minneapolis, Minnesota with her husband and four cats. Her favorite thing to do at the end of a very long day is to curl up with her tablet and read. She does bookkeeping for nonprofits by day, and by night moonlights as a blogger, artist, illustrator, actor, director, performer, and also sometimes as a business manager for a fledgling theater company. (Not all at once though, because that would be crazy!) She has spent a good deal of her life working in theater; either onstage as a performer, or backstage doing just about every job imaginable. Her love of writing dates back almost as far as her love of reading.

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